Her Two Anchors
by pearlydewdrop
Summary: Goodness knows, she knew childbirth would be painful...but nothing could have prepared for the menacing agony of what faced her now. The coppery taste of her own blood filled her mouth and her head pounded so hard that she thought she may explode right then and there. (AU Lady Sybil Lives!) Season 3 AU


**Her Two Anchors**

Sybil bit down on her lip, muffling her cries as a searing hot pain flooded her body.

Goodness knows, she knew childbirth would be painful...but nothing could have prepared for the menacing agony of what faced her now.

The coppery taste of her own blood filled her mouth and her head pounded so hard that she thought she may explode right then and there.

_Dizzy. _

Sybil felt more nauseated than she had been in her whole life, as though her whole world was spinning on a different axis.

Surely something was wrong...it had to be.

Tom looked on helplessly beside her, his own eyes filled with tears at his inability to ease her pain.

Bless him, he looked like a lost puppy by her bedside.

_"I wish there was something I could do"._

Sybil tried to give him a smile of reassurance, anything to soothe that lost look in her husband's eyes, but it quickly turned into a grimace as another powerful contraction hit

...and with it, all reason seemed to fade.

Throwing her head back, Sybil clutched the sheets around her violently, trying to distract herself with thoughts of something more pleasant...thoughts of the life she and Tom shared in Dublin and the long evenings they spent together on the roof of their apartment building.

_"Let's just lie back and look at the stars."_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later, Sybil looked down at the warm little bundle squalling defiantly in her arms.

With a tuft of dark brown Levinson hair atop her head, the signature Crawley chin, a powerful set of lungs and a pair of Branson blue eyes, there was no mistaking it...her and Tom's daughter was here.

Here with them...at long last.

Nothing, not even eight and half months of pregnancy, could have prepared Sybil for this moment. Nothing could ever have prepared her for the tidal wave of all consuming love that she would feel bubbling up inside of her for the tiny human now laying in her arms.

Her beautiful baby girl.

Sybil smiled tiredly at Tom who looked every bit as relieved and elated as she felt.

Love shone in his eyes for her and for their baby, once again reminding her of what a wonderful father her husband would be to their new born daughter.

_"Oh my Darlin', I do love you_ both _so much"._

Feeling more and more exhausted by the minute, Sybil gently took his hand. "And we love you too, my dearest Tom"

Right here, with her little girl in her arms, with Tom by her side and surrounded by her family; Lady Sybil Branson knew that she could face anything...

XXXXXXXXXXXX

She had thought it was all over, that they had weathered the storm...but despite her usually ever present optimism, she had been proven wrong.

Sybil couldn't help the guttural scream that burst out of her.

Distressed and in an almost feral fashion, she tugged on her hair, losing all sense of reason.

She tried to make out the faces of her panicked family, as they rushed to her aid, but trying to decipher anything of her surroundings quickly proved futile.

The room around her went in and out of focus as though it were cloaked in a thick fog that she couldn't see through without feeling more and more dizzy.

Dizzy.

Dizzy. So very very dizzy.

Two or perhaps three figures hovered above her, hysteria evident in their voices.

They were just out of reach.

_"My head!"_

Her body froze in agony and she gasped mindlessly for oxygen.

With every heavy, burning and laborious breath that entered her lungs, Sybil's control over her own body was ripped from her.

All sense and reason was forcibly pulled out from beneath her until nothing felt real but the vicious pounding in her head.

Like a funeral in her brain, mourners treading to and fro across her skull.

_Thudding. Thudding. Booming. Pounding._

Would the pain ever end!

She wanted to scream or cry...or perhaps she was already doing all of those things, Sybil wasn't sure anymore.

She wasn't sure of anything anymore, even the details of her fondest and most precious memories.

No matter how hard she tried, Sybil couldn't remember the sound of her new born baby's first cries.

It felt equally as impossible to recall the taste of Tom's lips upon hers that night in the garage when she first accepted him or to hold on to the smell of her mother's perfume when she hugged her goodbye.

Likewise, the sight of her father walking the grounds of Downton with Isis by his side was just out of reach, as was the feeling of her sisters hands in hers as they wished her luck on her wedding day.

None of it felt real anymore, or at least not as real as the hell that was now living inside her head.

More than anything, Sybil felt lost. It was as though she was slowly and agonisingly drowning in a wild and stormy sea, a sea that she or nobody else had the slightest bit of control over.

_Drowning._

_Drowning._

_Drowning._

_Drowning._

_Drowning._

Sybil was drowning without an anchor to cling to.

_Dying_.

Was she?

Terrified, she tried to open her eyes, if not only to look upon her family one last time...but she couldn't, the pain was far too great to bear.

Oh goodness! What was happening? Why couldn't it just end?...all Sybil wanted was for it to be over.

She was so tired. All she wanted was to sleep and let the white hot pain and smothering agony slip away like a distant memory.

_Just like a distant memory..._

_...a distant memory..._

_...distant..._

_...just a memory..._

But suddenly, she heard him call out to her, her anchor amidst the wildest of seas.

_Her anchor._

_Hers_.

Even in her state, Sybil heard just as much pain in Tom's voice as she felt in her own body.

Pure, raw and unadulterated pain. She could feel it, hear it and if she had been able to open her eyes, Sybil was certain that she would have seen it on her husband's face.

_"Breathe, Love. Please don't leave me! All you have to do is breathe."_

She could do it, couldn't she?...even if breathing seemed impossible and her ribs felt like steel traps.

For Tom, Sybil was sure that she could do just about anything.

Then she heard her baby's cries, distant like the infant was in the next room.

Her beautiful beautiful baby girl.

Her daughter needed her and so did Tom...Goodness knows, there was no way she could leave either of them behind without a fight.

_Her anchors._

_Hers_.

They were Sybil's two most beloved anchors, tethering her to the face of the earth.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

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**Hi, whoever is reading this. ****Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate you taking a look at this fic and would love to hear what you thought of it. I hope it wasn't too cringey... **

**A massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed and favourited my other Tom and Sybil oneshots! **

**Anyways, I hope you all have a great day!**

**Pearlydewdrop xx**


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